At what age does a child learn to lose gracefully?

Posted by on 18 April, 2012 13 Comments

I won again! – JD, 4

We reviewed a new game this week. It’s called Dobble and it’s similar to snap, in that two players take half the pack each, turn one card over each, and the first one to spot the matching symbol puts both cards on the bottom of their pack. The winner is the player left holding all the cards at the end.

It’s an enjoyable game and JD picked it up quickly. Obviously I was giving him extra time to find the pair after I’d spotted it, but after a few rounds, he was finding some faster than I was. He was jumping up and down at each mini-victory and really enjoying himself, so I decided to start winning the odd round to make things more interesting. Uh oh.

Sulk

As soon as I spotted a pair before him, he looked crestfallen. A few rounds later, when I tried it again, he proclaimed, “I don’t like this game” and despite encouraging words about the importance of taking part – and the fact that he was winning by a mile overall anyway – the next round I won saw him pick up the pack, throw it on the floor and give it a swift kick – totally uncharacteristic behaviour.

JD can play a game for hours where the goal is steady progress. Equally, the boardgames we’ve played have passed without incident, perhaps because he’s more concerned with his own counters than how he’s performing in comparison to others.

So Dobble was his first experience of clear cut competition and naturally, he struggled with it.

Do high achievers make sore losers?

I suspect it gave him a shock because its at odds with his experiences with learning thus far – he picks things up very quickly, flies through preschool numeracy/literacy challenges and when it comes to things like building Lego Hero Factory creatures, he’s streets ahead of me. I guess he just hadn’t experienced real competition before, complete with little victories and defeats.

We put Dobble aside for a few days and then returned to it. This time he was more willing to accept he wouldn’t win every round, though he still struggled when he thought his pile might actually be smaller than mine. We’ll keep playing.

Of course, he’s at the beginning of his learning journey – he doesn’t even start school until September – so I’ve no concerns, but I’d be interested to know, when did your little ones get the hang of winning and losing gracefully?

Disclosure: Esdevium Games Ltd sent us a copy of Dobble free of charge for review. All reviews and posts are 100% honest.

Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: , , , ,

10/52: growing up

Posted by on 9 March, 2012 36 Comments

Growing up - the things children say

I’m going to draw a monster but I won’t show it to Little Miss J – JD, 4

This week we went to a cafe and ate overpriced sandwiches. Then JD set to work with some drawing while I got out my camera.

As I snapped, Little Miss J started to wake up, but it wasn’t me that went to comfort her – it was JD.

“It’s alright, baby girl,” he said in a sing-song voice. “Everything’s alright. I’m here. I’m here.” And with that, her grizzles turned to smiles and she looked at him with complete adoration.

“Oh, JD,” I said as I picked Little Miss J up. “You blow my mind!”

“Ahhh,” he said kindly, “But only figuratively.” And then he went back to his drawing.

TheBoyandMe's 366 Linky The Things They Say Linky
Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

A Mummy Too turns purple

Posted by on 19 February, 2012 10 Comments

Why are you going purple, mummy? – JD, 4

Just like most 4 year olds, JD has an incredible ability to ignore me almost entirely if he’s engrossed in a game (usually Lego), but he’s also good at half-listening and getting totally the wrong end of the stick.

I give you, Exhibit A:

Me: Right, shoes on, please.
JD: *not really listening* Why do we have to go out, mummy?
Me: Well we didn’t get out of the house yesterday and I’m going stir-crazy.
JD: *Gasps – runs over to me – clutches my arm* Why are you going purple, mummy? Does it mean you’re going to die?!

Did I mention he likes a good bit of drama, too?

Sunday Funny! Five Go Blogging Snap Slappers
Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: ,

Missing my grandad

Posted by on 8 February, 2012 40 Comments

God bless, duck – grandad

My grandad was magical.

He could charm anyone, anywhere and calm anyone, anywhere.

In my childhood years, he’d amaze us by chatting to strangers in town, in cafes, in banks, and telling them their ages, or their children’s names, or even that they had a surprise announcement waiting when they got home – only for them to stop him in town weeks later to say “yes, their partner was waiting, bags packed with a surprise holiday when they got home. ”

In my teen years, when I was filled with angst, sitting in his living room, breathing his pipe smoke and smelling the faint whiff of whisky and orange juice was about the only time I felt truly calm. It was impossible to feel stressed in his presence.

In my early adult years, I got to go to the pub with him, finally, and witness his ability to entertain everyone there with stories, jokes and cheeky banter. He was a proper North London boy with amazing tales to tell.

When I earned money of my own, I gave him a pocket watch. He kept it in pride of place on the shelf by his chair. When I visited, he reminded me that it was important to him.

When I got pregnant, his eyes were full of worry and love. As my belly swelled, he looked at me protectively and reassuringly. I couldn’t wait to see him holding my first child in his arms.

In the summer of 2007, 4 months before JD arrived, my grandad fell, broke his hip and was taken to hospital, where he acquired an infection. I made it back home in time to say goodbye before he passed away.

My grandad will never get to meet my children. They’ll never get to know how incredible he was. But somehow – and I’m not usually the type to believe these things – somehow it feels like he’s still around. In JD’s shy smile, in Little Miss J’s laugh, I see him, and he feels near.

The pocket watch sits on my shelf now. I’ll never stop missing him.

Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: , , , , , ,

What my children mean to me

Posted by on 2 February, 2012 30 Comments

What do your children mean to you? – Nickie from IAmTypecast.com

As part of a campaign to promote children’s cancer charity, CLIC Sargent – and Yummy Mummy Week (10th to 18th March 2012) – Nickie has asked, “What do your children mean to you?” and “How have they changed your life?”

My children are my proudest achievements. They’re the reason I’ve smiled more in the last four years than I smiled in the full 25 years before that.

They’re the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep. They’re proof that I can at least do two things right.

They’re embarrassing beyond measure. Tantrums in supermarkets. Poo exploding out of nappies in restaurants. They turn me an unattractive shade of red that deepens as strangers give me that “can’t you control your children?” look and I try to plea back, telepathically, “they’re really good most of the time!”

They make me laugh until my face hurts and sob when no one’s looking. I watch them grow and develop with excitement and terror in equal measure – my precious little people.

They’re frustrating, exhausting, infuriating little wonders and I wouldn’t change a thing about them.

I had to say “touch wood” to myself while writing this, a superstitious chant to ward away illness and ill fortune. For those families affected by children’s cancer, I can’t begin to imagine how hard daily life must be – even the thought leaves me numb.

Thanks to Nickie for hosting this prompt. Go and read Nickie’s blog if you haven’t already – it will leave you in no doubt as to the importance of CLIC Sargent’s work.

Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: , , ,

Christmas tree OCD

Posted by on 13 December, 2011 12 Comments

Choosing decorations

Why are they called ball-balls and not just balls? – JD, 4

Am I the only one whose experience of putting up the Christmas tree was a mixture of pleasure and pain?

JD’s four now, so once we’d wrapped the lights in place, we let him decorate the tree ‘all by himself’, only standing by to lift him up when he wanted to reach the top branches.

It was lovely to watch him – so independent and tall – carefully choosing and hanging each ornament. And it was wonderful to see him enjoying himself and being creative.

But as I watched him put 90% of the decorations in a 1ft x 2 ft square on the 7ft tall Christmas tree, my desire for pattern and order started to bubble up like heart burn.

It was all I could do to keep my ‘helpful comments’ to a minimum: “Would you like me help you put a few more up at the top, sweetheart?” or “How about trying to make a row of baubles?”

Of course, when he’d finished, the tree looked rather nice, but now it’s sitting in my living room, staring at me with its uneven decorations – top bare, drummers clustered to one side, several baubles smothering one bent-to-breaking-point branch.

I will leave it alone. JD is proud of it and I’m proud that he did it by himself. Maybe I’ll just move that one star…

Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: ,

A Halloween party for a bunch of four year olds?! Help!

Posted by on 17 October, 2011 7 Comments

Is it my birthday yet? Is it my birthday tomorrow? It is sooooon? – JD, 3

It’s JD’s fourth birthday on 1st November and we promised him some time ago that he could have a Halloween themed birthday. Thing is, I’ve never organised a children’s party, I’m 39.5wks pregnant…basically I’m clueless!

So I’m asking for your tips, please!

Venue / theme

We’re opting for a local falconry. Play Zone was the obvious choice but a) it’s booked up and b) JD’s had so many minor and not-so-minor bumps lately that I don’t think my nerves can take it!

We’ve got a monster on the invites and we’ve said it’s fancy dress. Mark will be doing JD up to look like a vampire and we’re going to take some balloons (including some adorned with plastic eyes!) along to give the place some atmosphere.

Any other ideas to make the indoor part of the venue a bit spookier?

Activities

The falconry has promised to put on three activities for the kids while we’re there, which might include getting to stroke a little barn owl, hold a lizard or watch piglets race (if the weather isn’t awful).

If that doesn’t go to plan, though, we have three hours to kill, so I think we’ll hedge our bets with a few more standard party activities like ‘pass the parcel’ – maybe wrap up some crayons, an activity book etc.

Do you have any other winning party activities we could try?

Food

The venue is going to put on some party food, we just have to bring the cake. Mark and I are going to attempt something ghoulish this weekend as a trial run, but if all else fails, we’ll just go to the supermarket and buy something pre-made.

Unless you have a great Halloween cake recipe to share?

Party bags

We’ve bought a load of sweets and some trick or treat bags for each of the children to take home with them. We’ve also bought some mini Halloween cupcake cases and plan to put a few homemade green cupcakes in each bag.

What else is standard party bag fodder these days?

Obviously, I’m worrying far too much about this, but I’m whale-like now, I’ll be nursing a newborn on the day, so all thoughts appreciated!

Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: , , , ,

I don’t hate children’s TV…I just hate the music

Posted by on 13 October, 2011 20 Comments

This video was made in response to the BritMums vlogging prompt, “Children’s Television: Love it? Hate it? WHY???”

Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: , ,

Encouraging independence in the bathroom

Posted by on 11 October, 2011 14 Comments

I’m off to do m’teeth! – JD, 3

At 3 years, 11 months, JD has pretty much achieved independence in his personal hygiene.

Daytime routine

In the day, JD’s got a routine pretty much nailed.

  • He takes off his own shoes and washes his own hands when we come in from town (the bus is grubby) – generally this is without being asked to.
  • He washes his own hands before meals – again generally without being told to.
  • He goes to the loo by himself and knows to ask us if he needs a bit of help. He knows always to wash his hands afterwards.
  • He takes himself off after meals to wash his hands and face – this happens the second he’s finished eating. He just jumps up, announces he’s going to the bathroom and off he goes.

Evening routine

In the evening, JD takes a little more persuading because getting clean is then associated with having to go to bed.

Praise helps, plus the promise of bedtime stories, but one thing that has really helped get him into the bathroom and ready for bed is getting an electric toothbrush.

The Arm & Hammer My Way! Spinbrush

To be honest, it never would have occurred to me to get an electric toothbrush for a child had we not been sent one for review.

JD’s been manually brushing his teeth for a couple of years (with decreasing help), but this little ‘toy’ has improved how well he cleans his teeth (much less ‘grub’ near the gum line), made bedtime fun, and helped move bedtime hygiene into his independent routine.

Some features of the My Way! brush that JD likes:

  • It’s electric and makes a noise – that’s a winner in JD’s book!
  • It feels ‘grown up’ to use.
  • It comes with a load of stickers so JD has personalised it, including putting his name on it.

Only problem in the first few days was explaining that it’s not a toy for cleaning the tiles, floor, sofa…

JD wanted to use it on everything and show it to everyone, so we had a bit of a battle there, but now understands that it stays in the bathroom, he looks forward to the bedtime routine and is happy to do it without us taking the lead.

Job done.

Disclosure: The toothbrush was provided to us free-of-charge for review (RRP £5.99). No payment was received and this post is 100% honest. Please see my review/disclosure policy for more information.

Filed Under: Growing up | Tagged With: , , , , ,